Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Fifty Nine Thoughts About Being Fifty Nine

1. Some of the articles in the AARP Magazine look really interesting.


2. When I'm away from my kids, I should miss them more than I do.


3. To justify this, I tell myself it’s because they are doing well and don’t need me so much.


4. I spend way too much time playing spider solitaire.


5. I am hopeful that studying Italian will help keep my mind sharp.


6. Then, the next thing I know, I have to pull the car over because I forgot where I was going


7. Sometimes I go to bed with my make up on.


8. I really need to start drinking my kale/celery/broccoli stem/cucumber juice again.


9. When my grandmother was my age, she had 17 grandchildren.


10. That crease on my face that I wake up with, the one that used to fade right away? It’s hanging around a lot longer now.


11. I buy clothes for the life I don't lead.


12. Snow is unappealing to me even when it is fresh, fluffy and beautiful.


13. I used to love to downhill ski.


14. Sometimes I am terrified that the cancer will come back.


15. I try not to waste that much time thinking about it.


16. Apparently I like country music now.


17. The sound of a cocktail shaker brings me great joy.


18. I tend to be either obsessive or dismissive. Nothing in between.


19. I don’t think this is a good thing.


20. I love the feeling you get when you're reading a great book and can't wait to share it.


21. I can eat a bag of Lay's potato chips at one sitting and still want more. There were no consequences when I did this as a teenager.


22, There are consequences now.


23. Fear of failure can immobilize me.


24. I wish I had hung onto all those hippie, gauzy 1970’s clothes. ‘Cause now they are back in style.


25. Except it’s called “BoHo.”


26. As my lips grow thinner, I think my nose is getting wider.


27.  A beach house would be nice.


28. Having my younger son call me a bad influence only encourages me.


29. I can't be middle aged unless I live to be 118.


30. I think I did that math right.


31. Laughing is one of my favorite things to do.


32. Hearing laughter is another.


33. The daily vitamins I take seem like a recitation of the entire alphabet.


34. I have had to leave the room while watching my adult children interact, because I was so overwhelmed with the wonder of it all.


35. I would not have predicted that when they were 8, 6 and 2.


36. There is no one who would put up with me on a daily basis like my husband does.


37. Sometimes that pisses me off.


38. My high heel days are long gone.


39. So are my dancing on tables days.


40. The latter is probably a good thing.


41. I never knew elbows could be saggy.


42. No one is surprised anymore when they learn I have a 30 year old son.


43. I own 7 pairs of reading glasses and can never find a pair when I need to. Which is always.


44. I try to remember to whisper a “thank you” every day and hope the words linger and float into the universe.


45. I am aware that I can move into an Active Adult Community at any time.


46.  have never taken, and will never take, one of those large ocean cruises.


47. These days, all birthdays are big birthdays.


48. My limited musical taste doesn’t embarrass me anymore.


49. In fact, not much embarrasses me at all anymore.


50. I try to remain calm when my daughter says, “You sound just like Grammy.”


51. When in doubt, wear black. Throw on a scarf.


52. One of my main missions is to bug all of my much younger friends and relatives to get a colonoscopy when they turn 50. I’ll drive you.


53. I cannot carry a tune but remain convinced I would be an excellent backup singer.


54. I am slowly accepting the fact that I am eligible for some senior citizen discounts.


55. I don’t recognize half the people in People Magazine anymore.


56. I am so delighted that my 3 children have grown into compassionate, thoughtful, funny adults.


57. The hair from my thinning eyelashes is showing up on my chin.


58. If Jane Fonda can wear leggings and over the knee leather boots, I think I’m good.

59. These boots were made for walking.